Isolation and Discipline

I was listening to Br. David's talk - you can still catch it on Madhuban Jewels website - about his experiences  before coming into gyan.  The part that really grabbed me what the idyllic isolation he experienced in the Kimberly region of Australia.  I say idyllic because sometimes I just want to get away from it all.  I'm sure what I suffer is not unique - too much noise, too much clutter, too much information.  In today's world, everything is at our fingertips and if we want a little distraction, we don't have to go far for it.  For Br. David to place himself in complete isolation took courage, but it allowed him to face himself, to learn to listen, to discover, to create.  Without the multitude of distractions that we face today, one is able to make quick progress in any area of life.  And, for Br. David, it was during this time that he had profound experiences that were to play an important part in his own transformation. 

I envy him this opportunity.  I wish I could isolate myself for a year or more and really cut out the clutter of distractions - get down to the nitty gritty.  But this was not written into the drama for me.  My path has a different route and the challenge here is to cut out the distractions whilst they still exist.  Br. David mentioned a hermit that he used to visit during this time and gave an example of how disciplined this hermit was with food.  He would receive his food pack and figure out how often he would allow himself to eat the 'good stuff' so that it would last until the next food pack, whereas David would eat all the good stuff first, over indulge and then have nothing left towards the end.  He was attracted to the discipline of the hermit, he wanted to gain that discipline himself.  Hearing him speak of the hermit, I too, wanted to gain this discipline, to learn to live within reasonable means instead of taking and indulging all the time.  

Time is short, and distractions will keep us from the work on the self that we need to do.  For me, I plan to take a different attitude towards these distractions, be a bit ruthless and find time to be in silence - a sort of internal isolation - so that that work can progress.  Discipline comes from making a choice and then sticking with it - repeating that choice again and again - and never forgetting the purpose of that choice.  

Om shanti.

How to get rid of ego... or not.

In Raja Yoga, ego is one of the vices.  We need to finish the vices, therefore we need to finish ego.  The more I contemplate this, the more I realize that everything is tied into ego - all our past memories, all relations and friends, accomplishments and failures - everything.  

So, how do we get rid of it?  Do we have to erase all memory?  Do we have to forget our past?  Break all relationships?  

In one discussion today, the suggestion came to 'become free from ego'.  A subtle change in language, but a huge difference in approach.

To 'get rid of ego' is like trying to get rid of a playful puppy.  You keep throwing the ball to send it away, and the puppy fetches it and brings it right back, and wants to play more!  The more you throw the ball, the more you attract the puppy.  You can try shouting at the puppy to tell it to go away, but he thinks you are playing a game and sticks around to play more.  And even if you eventually do get rid of him, you are never quite sure when he is going to come back!

To 'become free from ego' means that ego cannot hold you.  You are not the slave to ego.  Ego exists, ego is there, but ego has no hold on you and cannot dictate to you.  In the same way that your past exists, you cannot change it, but it doesn't have to have a hold over you.  You can be free from it.  

These are the early days of churning this, but somehow it seems already helpful.  When one drops body consciousness and adopts soul consciousness, when they truly see themselves as awaken from the dream of the drama and holding all attainments, then there is no need for ego.  Having self-respect the need for ego vanishes and one becomes truly free.